Parental authority is a responsibility, not a power trip

MAPLE VALLEY
By Jean Parietti

Roger and Anne Wilson enjoy a Sunday afternoon with their family at their Maple Valley home. In front are Hannah (left), John and Katie; in back (from left) are son Todd and his wife, Katy, holding their son, Aidan; Roger and Anne; and daughter Emily. Not pictured are son Tim and daughter Claire, who are away at college.Credit: Jean Parietti

Most Catholic parents would agree that passing the faith to their children is important, but some might rely on parish faith formation programs or Catholic schools to do much of the work.

For Roger and Anne Wilson of Maple Valley, teaching their seven children the faith and traditions of the church is a parental responsibility they take to heart.

“We see it as our primary job. We are called to lead our children to God,” as part of the Sacrament of Marriage, Anne said. That means parental authority “is not a power trip, but a grave responsibility God has given us when He entrusted these seven children to us,” she said.

The Wilson family includes Katie, 9; John, 12; Hannah, 14; Emily, 17; Claire, 19; Tim, 21; and Todd, 23; as well as Todd’s wife, Katy, and their 4-month-old son, Aidan.

 It’s not about rules

In the Wilson home, passing on the faith isn’t just about teaching and enforcing a multitude of rules. “We owe our kids deeper explanations,” said Anne, who started homeschooling the children when Todd was in the third grade. Anne said she approaches church teachings “from a more loving aspect than a rule aspect” – for instance, she’s always taught that “when you get off the path, you’re not happier or better off.”

The way Emily views her parents’ approach, “it wasn’t so much these were rules you have to follow; it was more of a choice. I always knew it was the right choice,” she added.

Learning about the history and traditions of the church is an important aspect of the Wilson children’s homeschooling experience, and practicing the faith is an everyday part of the family’s life. They pray together as much as possible, though never enough, Anne noted. On Fridays during Lent, the Wilsons pray the Stations of the Cross in their yard. During Advent, the focus is on the biblical events leading up to the birth of Christ, not the craziness of a commercialized Christmas.

Christ’s presence in the Eucharistic is the foundation from which Roger and Anne emphasize to their family “that we are to carry His love and compassion out to the world, through service to others, through civic involvement, through ethical and honest living,” Anne said.

Teaching values by example

Roger and Anne also teach Christian values by example, whether it’s staying after church events to help clean up, or “adopting” an elderly neighbor – including him in holiday
celebrations, visiting him in the hospital and assisting him with daily needs. “The kids would go down and help out,” Anne said, noting they have “really seen what being neighbors is through that.”

Taking stock of the family Many parents hope that their faith is contagious -- that their children simply will "catch" it from them.  Faith that is lived is contagious. Children need to hear why faith matters to their parents and that it changes how their parents live. In another of a series of articles on Taking Stock of the Family, the Wilson family of Maple Valley finds passing on the faith isn’t just about teaching and enforcing a multitude of rules: “We owe our kids deeper explanations:

The Wilsons are active members of St. Monica’s Church on  Mercer Island, driving 20 miles to be part of a parish they value for its emphasis on the Eucharist (the parish has had a perpetual Eucharistic adoration chapel for 20 years) and “faithfulness to the teachings of the Church and to the liturgy,” Anne said.

Roger – who Anne calls the family’s gentle, quiet leader – wasn’t baptized when they married, but he decided to be baptized along with their sixth child, John, in 1993. “It didn’t take long after I was married until I realized I knew the road I was headed down,” said Roger, whose family had ties to the Episcopal church, but had stopped attending services by the time he was 6 or 7.

To the Wilson children, seeing their father become Catholic formalized the faith they had witnessed him living every day. “For as long as I can remember, Dad took us to Mass and led prayers,” Todd said. “He just always seemed Catholic to me.”

Their father’s example reinforced for his children that being Catholic isn’t just what someone professes to believe or be – “it’s the way you live,” Emily said.