Spirituality and depression program examining deep-seated myths

By Terry McGuire

BELLEVUE — It’s an attitude that people with depression or other forms of mental illness have encountered since biblical times: “You must have done something wrong,” they are told. “That’s why you’re in this situation.”

The argument, of course, is a false one, said Franciscan Sister Fran Ferder and Father John Heagle, co-directors of Therapy and Renewal Associates (TARA), a Seattle-based psychotherapy and consultation center. But it’s a notion that lingers today.

“People who are mentally ill or depressed (are asked): ‘What did you do in your early life? Were you on drugs? What happened to you? There must have been something that you did wrong,’” Father Heagle said.

The two mental health experts spoke Oct. 9 in the second of a three-part series on “Depression and Anxiety: A Common Reality.” About 200 people attended the program in St. Louise Church. It was co-sponsored by the parish and by Sacred Heart and St. Madeleine Sophie Parishes in Bellevue as part of a mental health education outreach. Sister Ferder’s and Father Heagle’s program focused on “Spirituality and Depression.”

They examined some deep-seated myths.

Mental illness is not punishment for sin, they said, nor is it a sign of a lack of faith or willpower. Indeed, they said, some people with the deepest faith suffer mental illness.

The key to remember, Father Heagle said, is that God is suffering with you.

“God’s response to suffering is not going to be to say ‘It’s your fault,’ or ‘You did something wrong,’” the priest said. “The first heart that is broken in the face of depression, grief, loss, chaos and destructions is the heart of God.”

Some people are predisposed to depression or other forms of mental illness; others fall victim to it because of life-altering situations, such as the death of a loved one, or the loss of health or a job.

No matter how it came about, it “can be a profound challenge,” Father Heagle said.

But it’s important that the sufferer not feel abandoned. It means that their loved ones need to stay involved in the relationship — as difficult as that can be.

Family members and friends should be aware that oftentimes the only help they can provide is being present to the person. “Sometimes that’s just sitting with someone in silence, touching their hand, being there,” Sister Ferder said. “Sometimes it’s encouraging them to go to the doctor or to get some help or to take their medication.”

But “try to keep a boundary between their suffering and yours,” she advised.

And never allow the person to abuse you, she cautioned. If abuse takes place, seek some support and help.

Prayer also is essential in the struggle with mental illness, the two experts said. But first comes a recognition that you’re praying not to “change God’s mind” but to be open to him in your suffering, Sister Ferder said.

“If you inherited a genetic predisposition toward depression, toward bipolar disorder, all the prayer in the world is not going to change your genetic makeup,” she said. “But it can help bring you some peace inside.” She likened it to the agony in the garden, when Jesus entered feeling abandoned, then prayed and left knowing that he wasn’t alone in his suffering.

Jesus’ life modeled the “compassion” that is needed when dealing with people with mental illness, the two mental health experts said. During his time on earth, Christ showed others that compassion for those on the margins of society was the “highest form of holiness.”

He practiced an “ethos of compassion” where all were welcome at the table, particularly those on the outside looking in, Sister Ferder said.

Before that, the understanding of what it took to attain holiness centered on an “ethos of purity,” she said, where the only ones who qualified were males of the proper social class and with their physical and mental capabilities intact.

Compassion “demands of us that we never adopt an attitude toward anyone we see in pain...that says, ‘It’s your fault,’” Sister Ferder said. “It doesn’t mean that we don’t encourage people to do what they can to help themselves. but it means that our hearts are there first.”